Darling is sleeping right now. Most probably she will read this tomorrow after her school.
I'm sorry darling, for making you cry again. I didn't mean it. Sorry. ='(
This few days I've got some sense knocked into my head literately. The ones from a few hours ago still hurt, as much as my broken heart. Yea I know I'm not as lively as some guy out there. I'm disgusting, I ugly, well of course. But, I just can't be like that, why can't you accept me for who I am? I don't want to fake out a lively personality when I'm not, that's way too spastic.
Today, I bought the flowers for you. I don't know if you really like or not. I just wanted to surprise you with something, so as to cheer you up, and you suspected that I did something wrong that's why I had to buy something to surprise you? You really think I'm that kind of guy? After lunch you showed me attitude again, after I've went through all the trouble of going down to the shop and get the flowers, and preparing what to write on the card for you, I know it's nothing much, but it's all my effort over there, just to let you know. Dear, just to let you know, the 5 roses represents our 5 months together other represents the plus plus days that will soon add up and become our 6 month. =D
Here's the picture of the flowers I gave darling, it's nothing special though. =x
Seriously, sometimes I do think.
Why don't you just tell me the things that you don't like about me and we can deal with it as soon as possible, isn't that better then you getting emotional and start provoking me again by taking out your phone and start texting that guy. Everytime you started texting that guy in front of me, that really hit the spot, it really got on my nerves everytime, just like how we started quarreling just now, and how I got beaten by you.
Why? Just why can't you do it? Hai.
I've told you many many times, just tell me in simple words, what's so tough about it? Just tell me and I won't get angry and you won't get angry, right?
You always say I'm crazy, yea, I was driven crazy by you, the way you say things about me, the things you did to me, every single little thing counts, you get it? I don't like you texting that guy as much as you don't like it when your ex-bf starts texting other girls when he's with you. The feeling is the same.
Well, you can say I'm jealous, and yea, I'm indeed very jealous about it. Who wouldn't get jealous when this happens huh? I bet you get even more jealous than me.
Did you know how sad I was when you showed me that sms with that guy saying, you can share any of your problems with him, and you can't bring yourself to share your problems with me, not to say even telling me your problems. And you told me, "Not bad right?". That made me even more sad than ever. Hai.
Darling, are you wondering why I'm not like him? The answer is cause I'll never be him, if I were him, I'll never be the guy you loved right now, I won't be the guy who always to try do funny things to make your day, I won't be the guy who spends all of his money on you, I won't be the guy who think of ways to surprise you, I won't be the guy who try and think of funny things to say and do everyday, I won't be the guy who can tolerate so much critisism, I won't be the guy who won't retaliate when you hit him, I won't be the guy who will cheer you up when you are sad, I won't be the guy who treats you like you're everything that he ever have in his life.
Have anyone ever come across a guy who sms your girlfriend and tell her that he misses her? And yea that's the guy I'm talking about.
If you happen to be reading this blog, and you are wondering if it's you, don't think twice, yea you! Zzz. You are just being a busybody, you made us quarrel, you made me injured by my darling physically and emotionally. What's else do you want? You want my darling? No, she's not going to be yours! Know your limits alright. Spastic guy. Not everything will go your way, I won't just sit back and do nothing, you just wait and see what I'm gonna do.
You are not some guy that's worth me dripping my blood and suffer any pain for. You are nothing. You're not that smart as well.
Back to dear, from your latest blog post, I can see that you won't be alright, so stop lying will ya? Let us just be the way we all just like how we usually are, is it alright with you? I really don't want things to be this way, this really sucks!
I still want to see your different patterns when you are happy, the funny things you do, and also the funny things we talked about.
Darling, I just hope that you won't sms so much in front of me ok? It really bothers me a lot. I've been controlling myself. Sorry if I hurt you again.
By the way, here's some pictures of darling and I with the flower. =x
I'll still wake up at 4.30am to wish you good morning, way earlier than him.
Good night everyone.
